In 1995 I swapped my motorcycle for a Demon Skytrike  microlight aircraft  with a 250 Fuji Robin. The instructions to fly were as follows:  

 Push forward to go up, pull back to go down, push left to go right, push right to go left.  

NO PROBLEM . . . I can do that.   

Myself and 16 friends assembled this machine one Sunday morning. I was ready for the off.  I sat at the bottom of this field with all my mates jeering me on - the peer pressure was EXTREME to say the least. I had to do this or face a life of ridicule,  so I tried to run out of fuel -  with no luck. I was off,  rattling down this 200mtr field, and after about 2/3rds of the field I was airborne at about 50ft.  I froze, throttle off - I hit the deck at about 40mph . I climbed from the wreck to many pats on the back  - I was an aviator  (of sorts ) - I survived !   

We then stripped the wing' removed all the bent poles and jammed them in a van door and bent them and jumped up and down on them so as they resembled some thing straight.  Don't laugh, it worked! Then it was attempt no2 &no3  - they were carbon copies of the first flight. By the end of the first week I had accumulated 2mins airtime and crashed 3 times, good or what? By this time it was getting a bit sore, so I contacted the guy who sold me the machine and he showed me how to fly in his two-seater - 3hrs tuition.   

Later I was flying at 800ft and loving every minute of it; I was now a pilot. I  had clocked up 38 hrs with no mishaps and I had logged every flight and crash, so I decided to move on. I bought a Tripacer.  Ten minutes into the flight it all went real scary . . . I climbed above  this hill and found out what a 20mph wind was like. I was a leaf in a tornado. I made it back to the field and on my approach I noticed a round bale of hay in the field. To this day I still think my mates were behind pushing it in front of me it as every attempt to avoid it was in vain. Alas, the Tripacer was no more.  With crash no 4 it was completely wrecked.   

Next came the big stuff   - a Puma Sprint, aircraft no. 3, and with me being 747 material this would be a doddle. 28hrs later, all logged,  it was time to find a victim - there is always one. So - two up and ready for the off,  power, pitch, attitude,  yehaaa  - we were airborne . . .  but something was not quite right . . .  

We got to about 80ft and we started descending rapidly. Now if the guy who sold me the machine had cared to mention that although it was a 440 engine - which was adequate - the wing was not, and with me not too clued up in how these machines actually  fly I tried to stop my descent by pushing the bar forward as fast as I could. Yes, you guessed it  - the  Puma stalled from about 40ft and there were bits of aircraft scattered over a large area.  Neither my passenger nor me were injured, but the Puma went to the big hanger in the sky beside the other two.  

Aircraft no. 4 was an XL I flew 10hrs with no problems and was offered good money for it, so it got a reprieve .  

Aircraft no. 5 was  another Puma but this baby had a compass ( green with envy ).   I flew this 25hrs. God was I good - definitely instructor material. Bearing in mind that every thing I flew was logged, I had been flying  in Edinburgh airspace  with 5 aircraft that had no permits. I had no license and the aircraft were not even registered. Now  I know what you are thinking - PILLOCK - and you are correct. My only defense is that I always contacted Edinburgh before flight  and I never caused any  grief  that I know of.  

Anyway, I decided to make use of this fancy gadget, the COMPASS.  I thought I would fly to Ireland, stopping off in Arran first. I was told to phone the police in Ireland prior to flight, which I did, and they said flight would be OK ,  but on arrival I would have to produce my license.  MY WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So the trip was cancelled.  

Many phone calls later to various instructors I got booked up  with Tony Wells, so  with a high pressure weekend  due I started my training. 0n friday19th Sept I got 7hrs training, on Sat 20th I got 8 hrs training, on Sunday I got 6 hrs training and on Monday I got another 6hrs in, so in one long weekend I had got my license - the shortest time ever - although I did have 101 hrs flying experience,  which helped quite a bit .  

So I forwarded my log book to the CAA  and awaited my license.  However, I had a slight problem . . . my log book had every flight every crash in every microlight that did not even exist  on the register, and it was now in the hands of the CAA. As you can imagine when I realized this  I said something like  'Oh dear oh dear tsk tsk' . . . and the caa hauled my butt in and charged me with a bookfull.  

So my story now ends. I was admonished as I had taken steps to get a license and am now forever in the debt to the BMAA because without them  I would be in Alcatraz . Today I run Central Scotland Microlights and with the help of Mr. Brian Cosgrove  I have a licensed airfield and am currently half way through my instructors course.  

So take heed . . .   do not do as I did. I could have been killed loads of times - I guess I'm just lucky, but you might not be. Get instruction.